If you didn’t catch Part 1 of this double article, take a look before you read on.
Social dominance is a very attractive quality, however there is a caveat… Gaining social dominance is not “out-alpha’ing” everyone in the social circle – that will get you nowhere fast – you merely want to be among the leadership of men (aligned with the top guys in the tree).
In part one of ‘What Gains You Social Dominance’, we covered three effective ways in which to establish yourself as an ‘alpha male’ or ‘leader of men’.
To recap, those three things were:
1. Align with pre-existing alpha males of the group 2. Show that you are already a leader in a separate social circle that has a relatively higher perceived value than this group 3. Bring good emotions to the group
Now that’s what you need to do in order to gain social dominance, but how do you do that?
Firstly, aligning with pre-existing alpha males…
Guys who are the leaders (i.e. captain of the team, guy who hosts the best parties, etc) have massive value in their social groups, thus developing social alliances with these guys will give you incredible value.
Sometimes you can do this straight away if you have a good thin slice and logistics on your side. Other times, similar to the waterfall principle (attract up – i.e. flirt with girls who are not so high in the tree, and the pre-selection and buzz generated by these girls will slowly build attraction and give you access to the hotter girls), you can align with these guys by winning over others in the group, gradually increasing your value before actually building time and shared experiences with the alpha males of the social tree.
To understand the power this has, imagine the difference between being introduced and having the leader say awesome things about you, versus him saying nothing positive about you. Huge!
Secondly, displaying leadership in a separate social circle…
If you have access to other trees with similar/ higher value or access to scarce resources (e.g. high- end venues, money, etc) these things will give you high value. Storytelling can be one way to achieve this, however the time will come for you to show your cards and it’s much better if your story is real. Coming into the social circle as someone who can introduce people to other high-value friends is a great way to achieve high social status in that tree – you want to have something to give, not a value leech.
Lastly, bringing good emotions to the group…
Being funny, interesting and generally fun to be around will make people like you, it’s just a matter of pulling it off. Have good intentions and share good experiences without stealing anyone’s thunder, because being a threat to people in the group is not going to make you popular. Adopt a total abundance mentality and understand that some people require time to like you and be comfortable around you, so this won’t happen immediately.
Some good strategies here include creating ‘in-jokes’ with people (like references from South Park/ Family Guy), try to let people see that you are having more fun/ have more going on than everyone else and be comfortable with being an individual – respect first, popularity second.
Social Circle Mastery is an amazing and in- depth concept. We’ve touched the surface on the structure of social trees and how to establish yourself as a leader of men (which makes picking up in social circles a lot easier down the track), but to find out more, check out Braddock and Mr. M’s SCM DVDs. Hopefully you enjoyed reading this and got a little something out of it. Happy hunting!