tagged: motivation, Social Circle, success, wingmen

Surround Yourself with Success & Work Hard

Posted by Jeremy Soul in Dating Tips, Lifestyle Tips, Mindsets

Good people around you is essential for success

People very often ask me how I got so good at Daytime Dating (Day Game) and how I got to where I am in Love Systems now. There’s a bunch of good reasons to explain how I got here, but I’d say the two biggest ones are:

1. I worked my ass off.

2. I surrounded myself with other successful people who had already been working their asses off.

A long time ago, I wrote a fairly controversial post about hanging out with successful people. The point of it wasn’t to start ditching your oldest and best friends just because they didn’t make as much money as you or weren’t as good with girls as you, but rather to carefully choose how much time you spend with the various people you have in your life, based on what you are trying to achieve right now.

Human beings are extremely social and empathetic by nature. This means that we tend to pick up on the emotions of others around us: we absorb them and then feel a little bit of them ourselves. This is why a sad movie can make us cry or watching a baby giggle can make us smile.

The same can be true of motivation, drive and ambition. If we’re surrounded by other people who aren’t working that hard on what they want, the bar isn’t set very high for us in our social circle, and we don’t feel that inspired. On the other hand, finding other people that are also working towards their dreams every day pushes us to build our own dreams.

When I was young, my parents opted to send me to a grammar school (which for my non-UK readers, is a more selective high school that you have to pass an exam to get into). At first, I was upset; most of my childhood friends were going to a different local school and I was going to be separated from them.

As the years have gone by, however, I have seen the wisdom in what my parents chose for me. Now those friends I studied with in high school have gone on to have amazing careers and acheive incredible things.

Recently, a good friend of mine launched Funding Circle, a new social lending platform. I watched him be interviewed by the BBC and swelled with pride as I saw how much my friend had achieved. At a time in my life when I felt like I had already achieved quite a lot, I felt inspired to achieve even more.

Those of you who have ever taken a workshop with me have probably heard me talk about living and working with Mr M. Apart from being a good friend and always being there for me in times of need, Mr M has been a constant sparring partner and source of inspiration who has kept me sharp and driven ever since I’ve known him.

Of course though, surrounding yourself with success is just one part of the equation. Ultimately, you need to put in the hustle and hard work yourself too. All the information you need to get good with women is out there (there are Bootcamps, Day Game Workshops, my Daytime Dating ebook, instructor Classic Writings, facebook pages, twitter accounts), but it’s down to you to go out and practice. Practice, practice, practice.

To do this, to work that hard, you need to keep reinvigorating your motivation. You won’t enjoy the same things and be satisfied with the same results forever. My early goals in dating were to get confident and to gain a lot of sexual experience with women. Over the years, that goal changed into other things, like experiencing relationships and longer-lasting love, becoming an effective dating coach so I could help others, and building a brand so that people would be aware of what I did the world over. So the motivation has constantly been evolving; but whatever the motivation was, I made sure to work my ass off. And that’s how I got to where I am today.

Jeremy Soul