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Reader Reply: Why David DeAngelo Can Mess Up Your Game
Posted by Jeremy Soul in Dating Tips, Mindsets
Too much cocky funny can be bad for your game
Hi Patrick,
Thank you for your detailed comment. I thought the answers to your questions would benefit everyone, so I’ve written the response here as a brand new article. I hope that you get the information you need out of it.
On family issues, yes it’s true that how we grow up with our family can determine a lot of our social ability and inclinations. But you have to remember, we are all subject to external forces and ultimately, it’s down to us to choose who we want to become.
External forces will always heavily influence us, but when a bad environment surrounds us, we can choose to either become bad ourselves (joining the environment), or fight against it and do everything we can not to become it. People who have bad upbringings or have been through tough times in their life (and let’s face it, most of us have in some way or other), know this fight.
Ultimately, we can all find 100 excuses to explain why we are the way we are, but that won’t change the present. The present can only be changed by taking action, and that’s what improving your life, getting better with women and people is about: ACTION.
I hear what you’re saying about David DeAngelo’s material. I too started out by studying his stuff. But Double Your Dating only teaches you a tiny, tiny piece of the puzzle (how not to act like a pussy, and how to be cocky and funny), and it can mess up your sense of physical escalation. Read up on the Love Systems Triad for a more complete model of seduction, and definitely get Magic Bullets if you haven’t read it already.
Have you taken a Bootcamp with us yet? Have you found wingmen to join you on your journey of self-improvement? Are you practicing approaching and meeting women regularly? If you haven’t done/are not doing these three things, that’s where you’re going wrong.
No one, and I mean no one, ever achieved happiness and got good at something without putting in the hard work for it, day after day, month after month, year after year.
Good luck to you, brother, let us know how you get on.
Jeremy Soul
This is a great post along with the one on u-shaped mood curves. I’ve read a ton of pua blogs and I have to say u come across as one of the few that’s extremely genuine and authentic. What stuck out to me with your post is the statement u made on our relationship with our parents and that very rarely can other relationship match that closeness. I was especially drawn to this idea because this is where I’m getting stuck in my pua journey and all my relationships not only with women but with friends and even family. I never had a strong relationship with either parents and in fact it’s practically non existent. To make it short my mother passed away tragically when I was young and father was an introvert who wasn’t much of a fatherly figure and remarried and started a new family. I’m not looking for pity or anything like that but I’ve come to a point where I am stuck and looking for directions. My main issue is just being able to connect with people in a long term basis and it seems as though my childhood experiences have impacted my social ability to do that. I’ve hooked up with a couple girls as a teen and had my first gf at 19 but it was never my choice… Always the women who picked me. When I first started learning pua I had David D’s material and I started to learn alot on building inner game, attraction and comfort but never pushed to physcially escalate. I’m not sure why… Maybe fear or rejection and a part of me always believe I can’t make this women happy in the long term since I’m not even happy with my relationship with my direct family and they’re suppose to be the closest people we have. Now I know I’m not the only person with family issues but I know that’s a huge factor affecting my ability to build long term social circles and intimate relationships. I don’t know if you have suggestion or direction for me but if u do please do share. Sorry for ranting on and on but I’ve been single and desparate for past 3 years now. I currently have a girl at work diggin me and even gave me the option to move in with her but she’s way outta shape and I still have some standards lol. I just need some help before I start losing all my standards and hook up with UGs for the rest of my life. I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now next to a woman with no teeth so please help!! I’m 27 and at the point where I’m close to giving up trying and desparately need help with inner game, building a social circle, and just being a man who can live in the present not allowing past experiences to affect my judgment. How did u start when u first started out and how were u able to build such a strong support group along the way?? My experiences is that most men with women issues are usually very private including myself and would never admit to another man they have issues in this area so I’m definitle stepping out of my comfort zone right now. Thanks for reading my comment if u even got this far.
Hi Jeremy, thanks for the awesome blog and for the tips. I’m just commenting here hoping that WordPress will give me the option to subscribe to your blog. Thanks again.
In reference to the above response.
We share simalairites with family issues. But we differ drastically apart from that.
Family has effected my abiility to connect/trust anyone regardless of situation (e.g. job, relationship, store clerk, family)
This needs to be dealt with too move forward. You need to help yourself by learning how to deal with people. A little each day. In time, you’ll become stonger than the individuals surrounded by support.
Remember:
Take the past as destiny and the future as free will…….READ IT AGAIN.
What was meant to happen, happened. We tend to do the reverse. People who are foolish think the past is free will and the future is destiny. This only makes you miserable in the present.