This post stems form my last one, Tools for Lifestyle Management. I mention value, but I feel like I need to clarify my view on it. I see it all the time and I used to wonder the same thing myself: What is value? How do I give it? My value is over 9000! If you’re not thrilled with your relationships, your job, or your life, then you’re missing a staple of what learning Love Systems is about.
I’ve said it before to guys, and I’ll say it again, while pickup is something that we attach to getting better with women, I see it as more of self-improvement. That’s not supposed to give you that weird association that normally goes with the self-improvement idea, but rather motivate you guys to kick ass in life. To me, that’s what self-improvement is really about.
So now, I want you guys to do something: Name five interesting things about you. These can’t be personality traits though. Nothing like, “I’m caring” “I’m a nice guy” or “I’m honest,” but instead, things that you do that are impressive to others. These are going to be things like “I ran a marathon” “I’ve scuba-dived in the Great Barrier Reef” or other badass things.
The only caveat: you have to be doing these things for yourself, not for other people. Confusing, huh?
The point of this article is to hammer in the idea that you should be making yourself into the type of person girls (and, coincidentally, other people) will want to be around. Instead of posting on the forums, “How can I get this girl to like me” or “How do I get a solid social circle?” ask yourself: “How do I become the kind of person girls want to date?” or “How do I become the kind of person who people want to hang out with all the time?”
Here’s where you say, “But I’m not good at anything! All I do is browse forums and look on Reddit!!” If you dedicate enough time and effort towards anything, you’re going to get pretty good. I have no clue who said it originally, but it’s the old adage that you have to put 10,000 hours of practice in to anything to become an expert. I’m not saying you have to be an expert in anything, but you have to put in enough time to get good. I’ve been playing guitar since I was ten and I’m 23 now. I’d consider myself at a pretty high performing level when I was at my prime (about 2 years ago), but you know how long it took to get there? A lot of hours of shitty playing. A lot of shitty solos. A lot of shitty (and boring!) scale practicing with a metronome. But now I’ve played shows on stages household names play on, have taken lessons from top guitarists, and recorded albums at famous studios.
But the reason you don’t love yourself is because you don’t do anything. Go create something. Nurture your artist. Do something that gets your adrenaline pumping. Instead of wondering what you should do with your life, stop getting on Facebook first thing in the morning, stop browsing Reddit all day, and stop looking at porn for hours on end! You’d be surprised what you can do in a day when you’re not wasting it on pointless stuff. I paid attention to my habits for a few weeks when I stopped going on any social media in the morning and the results were interesting. I got up and started doing things I wanted to accomplish. Now I do my best to not get on anything that’s going to distract me first thing in the morning or during times where I want to be productive. This doesn’t mean stop going on Facebook, forums, or whatever, but tone it down and keep yourself to a limit or consumption. You’ll be amazed at how much more fulfillment you get out of your life when you cut out the crap.