As much as I love day game, we have to admit it’s not socially ‘normal’ to approach a stranger and tell her that you found her strikingly beautiful, and that you want to find out some more about her.

Flattering? Yes.

Bold? Definitely.

Expected? No.

There’s a reason we do most of the talking for the initial phase of the interaction – apart from being a man and leading the conversation, we need to understand that (for the most part) women on the move are not in a social state of mind during the day, thus using humour is a fantastic way to break that social tension she may be feeling after the opener/ compliment – “This guy’s kinda cute and obviously confident… but what’s he going to say next?”

Humour is a strong attraction switch for a bunch of reasons – it communicates social intelligence and proves your ability to generate good emotions (and thus being someone of value). The ability to make a woman laugh within seconds also spikes a nice dose of preselection, since you are comfortable enough to take an unusual situation and make it fun and interesting. Here are some examples that may help in breaking the ice:

(After the opener) “Nice to meet you… now I hope you have a good personality” (credit Future)

“You’re running late? That’s cool I can write you a note explaining why you’re late to class”

“So what are you up to today? I mean, apart from picking up hot guys on the street, I figured that part out already”

“Don’t act so shy, I’m only what, Cute guy number 10 today? C’mon you do this all the time, you can be honest”(If she’s with her mother)

“Nice to meet you… and I didn’t think that I would be meeting your mother so soon, but it’s nice to meet you too!” or “You must be her sister” scores nice cool points with the mums

It’s not imperative that you make her laugh in the first few minutes, but it definitely helps!

There’s a few ways to do this:

Create an empowering belief that is logically incompatible to the limiting belief (credit: Tenmagnet)

For example, if your limiting belief is that “She’s on her way to work and doesn’t want to be bothered”, creating a belief such as “I’m an interesting guy, she would love to meet me” works well because it contradicts the useless limiting belief. I’m an interesting guy and she would love it if I told her how beautiful she was, and that I wanted to find out more about her. Therefore whatever she’s doing, she will be happy to stop for that.

Act in spite of your limiting belief (credit: Mr M)

Any time you get that gut level feeling of “Fuck, she’s out of my league”, acting in spite of that belief is POWERFUL. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have approached girls for the sole reason of thinking they are out of my league.  Creating this habit will make you more comfortable around those women that cause your heart rate to triple as they walk past, plus you’ll be surprised how it works out sometimes. Maybe she’s super friendly, she may have just moved to a new city, or just got off a phone call with her friend complaining about how she never meets cool guys…

Test your assumptions – “Let’s see what happens”

I remember the first time my wing pushed me into a mother daughter set – I was extremely reluctant to approach. My apprehension was similar to the times were I have approached girls with onlookers standing within earshot/ spectating, and other random situations. The truth is people admire your confidence if you get blown out, and getting her number makes you look even more awesome. – so ultimately, you’re either going to look awesome, or more awesome. Thoughts such as “Let’s see what happens”, “She looks so good, that’s for me” and “She wants me to talk to her” – a few among many others – are great mindsets to internalize.

Jeremy Soul said it best in his YouTube video on how he got good at Day Game – “Maybe she is cold, maybe she’s not very friendly. Or she could be the love of your life, or the best sex you’ve ever had. The truth is you don’t know until you try it.”

For my info on turning your anxiety into excitement, check out our best-selling audios on Inner Game or Overcoming Approach Anxiety. (The first 10 minutes of each are FREE!)

If you’re like me, this is a frustrating sticking point to overcome. I remember first getting started in Day game, for the first two months a typical interaction would go a little something like:

Me: Excuse me, I just saw you from over there… you’re absolutely gorgeous! What’s your name?

Her: Samantha

Me: Nice to meet you, so what are you up to today?

Her: Just shopping, and meeting up with some friends later.

Me: Oh cool… Ok well, you’re gorgeous and I had to come and tell you that… I gotta run but have a nice day!

Self-blowout after self-blowout, I used to kick myself over the missed opportunities. But the good news is there is an easy way to overcome this, and that’s by preparing statements and answering your own questions after she does. Since the onus is on you to carry the conversation and do most of the talking, you may as well do it in a fun and interesting way while engaging the girl.

Statements paint a picture of you as being a cool and interesting guy with an attractive lifestyle. So let’s take the above interaction, but this time I played it smarter and prepared some stock statements to use…

Me: Excuse me, I just saw you from over there… you’re absolutely gorgeous! What’s your name?

Her: Samantha

Me: Nice to meet you Samantha. You have an interesting look – it’s different to most women I meet in this city.  I’m guessing you do something creative for a living or in your spare time?

(A cold read that implies I meet a lot of women and therefore have no shortage of options, as well as me noticing something specific/ unique about her – I have an eye for detail when it comes to women. From here she can mention a creative job, passion/ hobby)

Some other examples:

If she’s from NY/ London

“You know what’s interesting about Londoners/ New Yorkers? The first time I went over there, people told me that New Yorkers were really cold. But I realized that they’re just busy, so if someone stops you in the street, you’d better have something good to say! I’m from Sydney though so I’m used to everyone being friendly. Have you traveled/ been to New York?”

If she has an intellectual job (doctor/ lawyer, finance, etc.)

You must be intelligent, you were totally the bookworm in all your college classes right? I respect that though, I found marketing tough to learn when I first started but I think it’s important to go for what you want in life, that’s why I like meeting people who enjoy their jobs. Do you enjoy what you do?

For the best articles on day game, check out Nick Hoss’ FREE PUA Reading List.

Today I want to bring to everyone’s attention a great resource for all of you aspiring to get your dating life in control. It’s the official Nick Hoss Reading List and it’s entirely FREE if you sign up soon. Let’s just go over what this ebook includes:

• An easy-to-use link system. You don’t have to go scouring the ends of the internet to find the post Nick is talking about, it’s all inside.
• Over 60+ Instructor classic write-ups and blog posts, which includes comments by Nick Hoss himself about how and where you can apply the lessons taught in these posts.
• A great balance between posts involving outer game and inner game. Remember, you can’t have one without the other. It’s a yin-yang relationship that’s highlighted throughout the list.
• A few “old school” articles that are still relevant to the dating
• Two new, upcoming Interview Series topics are revealed (which will especially excite my day gamers reading this).
• An entire section devoted to gathering all the free videos and audios out there in the internet so you can have them all in one centralized locations (Such as Braddock’s and Mr. M’s “10 Game Audio,” “Advanced Day Game – Audio,” “Appearance and Wealth,” and much, much more).
• A mini-catalog of all the Love Systems products (Including a mini-review for each of them by Hoss)
• Section of mainstream resources which includes movies and books that are tangental to game but guaranteed to give you some “ah-ha” moments.

Nick Hoss has really gone out of his way to bring all this material into one central location, but I think the greatest attribute of this list is that it contains content that will improve all beginners, intermediate, and advanced guys alike. Anyways it’s a free resource, check it out on Nick Hoss’ day game blog, and leave a comment or a review below!

Get the NICK HOSS READING LIST

WHAT YOU GET

Cajun outlines a system from how to set up your profile to how to ask her out. Obviously you can expect there to be sections like “Profile Pictures” and “About Me” write-ups, but the real gems are the examples Cajun gives AND the description of how to personalize them. This is key in my mind.
You get box-by-box advice of how to setup your profile, what to include and what to definitely avoid. (It’s funny how that one little tweak to your profile can get you exponential gains.) He also outlines the major difference between boring profiles and ones girls message.

With that, there is a plethora of message logs included, all real examples of what’s worked for Cajun before. He also includes chat logs of instant messages, which is a nice way of showing the subtle differences of chatting in real time versus over message.

There is also a two-page cheat sheet of extra tips that add some nice icing to your online game.

Tenmagnet drops in a nice chapter on the lost art of phone game. Everybody has become so concerned with texting in the past couple of years that there hasn’t been much said about phone game, a necessity, recently. This guy was my original mentor and I can tell you there is NOBODY better on the phone than him. He gives the what to say, when to call, how to ask her out info you need. A must read.

Keychain also has a nice quick start guide so you can get your profile going and get some dates as you improve it with Cajun’s advice.

Read the rest of Nick Hoss’ Gentleman’s Guide to Online Game review and see photos from the book.

 Alexander Technique Intro

The Alexander Technique is a subtle method of sensitivity re-education that works to change habits in everyday activities. As I use words to describe phenomena in these series of articles, realize that they are just a guide for your imagination. Only an Alexander teacher’s hands can give you a real experience of kinesthetic reawakening and freedom. The student is taught how to free himself from unconscious muscle tension and accumulated emotional trauma stored in his body. This indirectly results in increased spacial awareness and better posture over time.

One of the biggest obstacles in game is undoubtedly the fight or flight response to a particular stimulus (loud music, social pressure, etc.) I’ll use approach anxiety for example:

1. Stimulus (sexy blonde girl in “leave-em-on” heals at the night club)

2. Emotion (attraction → approach anxiety)

3. Thought (“she’s out of my league” → “she probably has a boyfriend anyway” → “need more alcohol!!”)

Be _________

If you’ve ever heard the advice “be confident” or “just be yourself”, the key word is actually be. “Being” is somewhat foreign to western culture, which is a very results oriented, doing society. It’s not so much what you say to her or how many lines you can spit, its how you say it and what you’re sub-communicating about yourself. These principles are called “end gaining” vs. “the means whereby” in Alexander’s texts.

Doing too much for a desired outcome is a perceived sign of insecurity and neediness in a social context. Trying to be something (funny, alpha, etc.) unfortunately does not lead to attraction with women. In dating science, this would be called “try-hard.” Feeling secure, charismatic and sexy can begin from a place of becoming present to your entire body, giving a single conscious “direction” of thought (aka “I’m a sexy beast”) and taking right action.

If you find yourself battling negative self talk a lot (as I did), make sure not to make your self wrong for having those thoughts. Accept that your negative thoughts are just trying to protect you, that they are not real, breathe and come into your body. If applied, these tips can be stepping stones toward developing presence and becoming internally validated.

Hope this helps.

I’ll get into some direct Alexander applications for better body language in the next one.

Chance

INNER GAME

You don’t need to eat nasty concoctions, throw up 4 times a day or do pushups until you pass out to feel proud of who you are as a man. Tony Robbins talks about inspiration and desperation as two of the most powerful underlying motivators for people. Remember what you had to overcome to get to this point in your life and use that as fuel for your fire. If you are on your purpose, having a blast along the way, everyone will be drawn to you.

Walking around campus after initiation, I remember thinking to myself: “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me”, “anything is possible”, “I am on fire right now” and “my life is amazing”. These beliefs are great to internalize. The music I was listening to was having a big impact on my state as well. Any type of music that brings you up to a higher frequency where you feel passionate, appreciative and empowered will help for day game. The key is to channel your emotions, be genuine and own your masculinity.

CAMPUS DAY GAME APPROACHES

Opening

• Jeremy Soul-style direct openers are very effective
  • (excuse me, I just saw you doing X, I had to come tell you Y, my name is _____)
  • approach thinking “I’m going to make this girl’s day”
  • get excited, take chances
• use situational openers for girls in your immediate proximity
  • ex: sitting next to her in class, standing on line at the dining hall, etc.
  • contextual questions / comments, banter & humor

Sample Topics of Conversation

• shared experiences
  • ex: dorm life conditions, dining hall food, finals, professors, etc.
  • hometowns, lingo, culture, study abroad
• involvement on campus
  • ex: student government, music, fraternity, athletics, yoga, volunteer groups, etc.
  • talk about why you are passionate about it so you can connect with her on that emotion
• social circle, epic stories, last weekend’s mayhem
• favorite classes, major

Day 2 Ideas

• study session at library or other public location
• pregame, party, daydrink, sporting event (tailgate)
  • invite her & her friends
• daytime date
  • ex: I once took a creative girl (day game approach) on a date where we drew on a sidewalk with rainbow driveway chalk, talked about our passions and then volunteered at a food bank.
• campus events
• find common interests and explore them together
  • plays, intramural sports, art history, outing club trips, frisby, etc.

My First Ever Campus Day Game Approach

I remember having a huge crush on this stunning freshman blonde girl who I’d see every day walking back to the dorms. She had the most unbelievable body I’d ever seen. I would melt every time I saw her. Flash forward to a couple months after pledging, I’m walking back from class, listening to my IPod, when I spot her walking just ahead of me. I felt some nervousness and I had no clue what day game even was at this point but all I knew was that I HAD to go talk to this girl. The angle was off, I looked like a drug dealer, another guy had just approached her 2 minutes before me, she didn’t even know what a fraternity was and she despised house parties. None of these factors mattered though. I just assumed it was on and kept talking. My beliefs “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me”, “anything is possible”, “I am on fire right now” and “my life is amazing” carried me through the Triad Model and brought me the girl of my dreams.

TIPS

1) Be ballsy, no regrets

• 4 years flies by fast– before you know it, graduation will be right around the corner

2) Don’t be discouraged if she has a boyfriend

• in no way do I support cheating, but literally almost every single hot girl I knew in college cheated on her boyfriend at least once

• if you really like her, put her on the backburner (long fuse) and go approach other girls (you never know when she’ll come around)

3) Use Facebook to your advantage

• pictures say 1000 words about you (tag yourself in the good ones)

• display social proof and preselection

• friend her on Facebook only after you’ve been texting each other for a little while

4) Tend to your social garden

• make some good friends and always be doing fun things (1st semester senior year, we purchased 1000 ball pit balls and made a McDonald’s style ball pit in our house!!)

Chance

In SCM, Braddock talks about “hunting” vs. “farming”. For the most part, you won’t need to do much hunting (cold approaching) if you’ve pledged a legitimate fraternity. Every brother will be farming the girls he meets so you’ll all be harvesting crops together. Be sure not to lose sight of who your true friends are but you want to align with guys who are good farmers. This alone will dramatically increase the amount of hot girls you’ll have access to without expending much effort.

Note:

1) Groups of girls will almost always be late for social events. Be okay with it. One of their biggest fears is social awkwardness. By arriving early and sober, they run the risk of it being “awkward”.

2) Girls are masters at appearing innocent. At university, there are rarely, if any social consequences for a girl who sleeps around. No one really cares so no need to judge. Most of the time, she’ll pretend it didn’t happen, claiming she was “blackout” and her friends will cover for her.

PREGAMES:

- Hosting a pregame is a great way to have fun and build investment with girls before a party. College girls will usually go out in “squads” of 4 to 5 girls until one girl starts consistently hooking up with one guy in your group. You want to get “sticky” with at least one girl in her group. If they can enjoy themselves and feel comfortable hanging out with you and your group of friends, they’ll come back and bring more girls.

- Lights on. Music loud but low enough so everyone can hear each other.

- Alcohol – More hard alcohol, less beer. Anything fruity (jello shots, flavored vodka, etc) works well for girls. Play games where everyone can participate… our favorites were flip cup and a beer pong (Beirut) type of game called “Civil War”.

HOUSE PARTIES:

- Girls will travel far distances in heels, pushing through injury to get to a good house party with a DJ. It’s the highlight of their week to look sexy, get drunk, dance and hook up with cool guys. ANYTHING is possible at college parties. Sexual activity can happen anywhere: dance floor, bathroom, laundry room, outside on the central air conditioning unit, anywhere your imagination can think of.

- At house parties, you’ll get attraction off the bat just by having the confidence to start and hold a fun conversation with a group of strangers. Don’t get obliterated if you’re trying to meet girls. If you’re a “wallflower” at the party, trying to snipe girls off, you’ll be sure to creep them out. Talk to everyone, have fun and “let go of outcome”. If you can display social proof and a little bit of preselection, direct game (“Man Game”) will be like fishing with dynamite. Bounce her around after building attraction. A bounce within the house party could include grabbing a beer, smoking a cigarette outside, taking shots in a bedroom or showing her something cool in the house.

- Lights dimmed (black light is best). Music played really loud preferably by a DJ who can manage the tempo of the party and beat match songs together, eliminating awkward silences between songs.

- Alcohol– More beer, less hard alcohol. Kegs are cheap but they can slow down the pace of the party. Cases (cans) keep the party moving but you’ll pay more and have a bigger clean up. Hard alcohol will get finished off in the blink of an eye at a big party so try to conserve it, saving it for “VIP”! Once the alcohol runs out, everyone will start clearing out so be sure to have enough to last the night.

Part 3, I’ll get into postgames, facebook, campus approaches and any other college topics you guys would like info on.

Chance

For the majority of 18-year old high school seniors, college life is a vivid fantasy dreamt up full of crazy parties, hot girls, popularity and unforgettable memories. Finally escaping that sub-par high school reputation has the incoming freshman watering at the mouth for a fresh start. Never landing that high school crush is an agonizing stab at the heart but it can be used as leverage toward a new beginning. College can be a dream come true or a missed opportunity filled with regret and anguish.

During those first couple weekends, we would wander aimlessly around campus, sometimes 8 guys deep desperately trying to buy our way into a house party. Meanwhile, the hot girls on our floor would flock to fraternity, football, hockey, lacrosse and rugby parties.

For all the freshman and sophomores reading this who attend mid to large sized universities, take advantage if you get the opportunity to pledge a legitimate fraternity. It will make college game so much easier. Each fraternity elects a social chair who’s primary responsibility it is to organize parties with hot sorority girls. The social chair handles the alcohol, pregame, venue, DJ, transportation, logistics and all vomiting drunk people.

After about a month into the semester, “rush” will begin. Rush is a 2-week period where all the fraternities on campus host events with free food and alcohol with the purpose of recruiting new pledges. Lame fraternities will take anyone they can get (if you’re unsure if a fraternity is legit, ask a couple hot junior or senior sorority girls on campus). The popular fraternities on campus want pledges who are cool, confident, fun and have future ambitions to help improve the fraternity after they become brothers.

If you can keep that in mind, you should be able to make a good impression and generate some buzz amongst the brotherhood. If they like you, they’ll invite you to a “call back” rush event. After callbacks, the brotherhood will hold a meeting where they’ll vote on whether or not to extend a “bid” to you. A bid is an invitation to pledge their fraternity, which usually lasts from 6 to 8 weeks.

Be sure to pledge a fraternity that has high social value on campus, throws sick parties every weekend and plans bus trips, “date parties”, formal events and “mixers” with the hottest sororities. Huge. A mixer is a party where the fraternity and the sorority’s social chairs will decide on a theme (angels & devils, pimps & hoes, Halloween, Christmas, etc.) and throw it together.

Date parties were my personal favorite and are by far the easiest nights to get laid. This is where the brotherhood will rent out a venue and each brother can bring a date of his choice. If your fraternity has value and you’ve build some attraction with your date, you’ll be able to relax, introduce her to your friends, drink, tease her a bit, build comfort and escalate. Watch out for drunk brothers trying to swoop in on your date!

Also, have no fear of pledging a hazing fraternity. My inner game would not be where it is today if it weren’t for the mental, emotional and physical challenges that I faced throughout pledging. The pride we all felt wearing those Greek letters was a reflection of the struggle we had been through together and the respect we had each individually earned for ourselves. Two of my closest friends today were my pledge brothers.

When girls found out I had pledged the top fraternity on campus, my value exploded and the game suddenly became a whole lot easier. I thrived off the new positive reactions I was getting from girls but I didn’t really understand it… that is until I found Love Systems. Part 2 coming soon.

Chance