Conversation Mapping – The Framework tagged:

Conversation Mapping – The Framework

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Ever felt like a conversation you were having with a beautiful woman just wasn’t going anywhere?

Conversation mapping is a concept that provides a framework for the conversations you’re having with beautiful women during the day, a framework that makes building attraction and qualification a little easier for us.

A common hesitation we hear from a lot of guys who are starting is some variation of “I just wouldn’t know what to say after I’ve introduced myself!

Enter conversation mapping.

This is basically what attractive, natural conversation looks like when it’s broken down, there’s a smooth pattern of one topic naturally linking to another topic as the conversation goes on.

For day game, the basic model is:

Context – “What are you up to today?”

Work – “What do you do for work?”

Leisure – “What do you do in your spare time?”

These questions allow us to find out a little bit about the girl on a surface level, then as we show some value, we can dig a little deeper and start connecting on more levels. That is the essence of good day game and there are three topics within conversation mapping that will help you achieve this:

Mastery Topics

There are topics of conversation that you will feel very comfortable with, such as diving, photography or ice hockey. Maybe you’re passionate, or have a wealth of experience in that area but whatever the reason; these are your mastery topics. Mastery topics are fantastic for generating attraction. For example imagine if she has a trip planned to Central America, she’s excited to go and it turns out you spent 3 months there last year… You’re going to have stories, interesting insights and she’s going to find that fascinating. However if your mastery topic is chess and she has no interest in that whatsoever, it will not do very much for your value to talk about that – but what you can do is ‘bridge’…

Bridging

Bridging can be thought of as a type of transition. You can use bridges to get onto a mastery topic or get off a topic that you have no interest in, and you can do this logically or emotionally. A logical bridge is literally a logical connection between two topics, however an emotional bridge uses emotional resonance to link topics. For example “Do you enjoy your job? I can tell that you do… I think it’s weak when people don’t go after what they want, but you sound ambitious, I like that.”  and you can bridge from the topic of ‘work’ to something you may enjoy talking about more.

Funnelling

Funnelling is an excellent (and advanced) conversational tool, and it works to your favour in two ways.

1) If you’re talking about something you’re very comfortable with (e.g. snowboarding or travel). If you’re on a mastery topic, this is a great opportunity to build value, qualify and “funnel down” by getting more specific. For example if you both love snowboarding, talk about some of your favourite slopes in the world and what you love about them, ask her the same thing. Tell her WHY you love snowboarding and how it makes you feel, and reward and relate with her on the same thing.

2) However, what if you’re talking about something you’re not comfortable with? Staying on this topic is going to murder your value if enough time passes and a great way to avoid that is to “funnel up” and make it more general. In contrast to the above example, if she is a yoga instructor and she’s talking about that, (by the way, you have no idea what to say because you play real sports and don’t like yoga) then you can make it more general by funneling up to ‘health and fitness’ instead of ‘yoga’ and relate to how doing weights or swimming gives you the same endorphins and emotions she gets from yoga.