There’s a speech by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple computers, that I really like (I’m a huge Steve Jobs fan). I’ve been referring to it for years whenever I meet people or run Day Game Workshops, and especially to friends who are in dire situations, heartbroken or otherwise going through difficult things in their life.
I like a lot of it, but the Connecting the Dots part is always the part that has struck me the most.
The idea is an elaboration of the common adage that “everything happens for a reason.” It sounds trite, but I have indeed seen the significance of certain events in my life only years later.
Some of these things seem so awful, so gut-wrenching, that you wonder what it is going to be mean for your life – you almost cannot see any positive ever resulting from it.
But somehow, at some point, those dots do connect. Last year, my father had a stroke and it turned my world upside down. I struggled to balance my workshop and travel schedule, my apartment in Stockholm, business interests, my love life, and my father’s health all at once.
The toll it took on me was palpable. I had to move back to London so I could be there to help take care of my dad and support my parents. As I tried to take care of the most important things, my love life fell apart, and I had to put some business plans that were very important to me on hold. Thankfully, my workshops and my clients never saw the impact – to me, my family and my job were the top priorities.
These were some tough dots for me. I’m sure the connections are still building, but I’m starting to see some of them already. For one, going through this kind of family experience has really shone a lens on what I value in life, my priorities, and helped me to identify the kind of people I really want around me.
For two, the whole experience brought me back to London, which is perhaps less exciting than it is being in Stockholm or traveling through the USA, but ultimately benefits my business interests and helps me to grow the rest of my life.
I recently worked with Nick Hoss, one of the new instructors to join the Love Systems ranks (a fellow fan of Daytime Dating and quite the expert with mother-daughter approaches!). It’s funny, about two years ago he emailed me to apply for Project Rockstar.
His application was awesome, but it came in after we’d already screened a ton of applications and chosen some excellent ones. So I told him that, and I pointed him to Steve Jobs’ speech on Connecting the Dots – I really hoped that I would meet Nick someday in some capacity.
They stay in touch and start practicing day game together. At some point, I need extra help in Toronto for my workshop, so I email that guy and he suggests that I bring Nick along too, as they’ve been doing really well together.
Nick impressed the hell out of me on the Day Game Workshop (in fact he met a girl that day with her mother, and ended up seeing that girl later that night). He was respectful, smart, and enthusiastic – I saw huge potential for him as a Love Systems instructor.
He then began training with us, helping out other instructors on various programs around the world, and eventually underwent the instructor evaluation with Love Systems CEO, Nick Savoy, at our Las Vegas Super Conference. He passed, and is now a fully-fledged instructor, and will be helping out on a lot of my programs this year as well as other instructors.
So remember, the dots will always connect at some point.