Anders van Dahl of P4 (Norway’s national radio) recently invited me for an interview on Day Game. What started out as a discussion turned into live coaching, and with my assistance Anders approached women in the daytime on the streets of Oslo for the first time!

Read the English transcript here or listen to the audio (Norwegian) on the Love Systems YouTube channel.

Jeremy Soul.

Part 1

Anders: Already on the way out of P4′s offices down towards Oslo’s busiest shopping street, my entrails are close to turning inside out from anguish and panic. In the middle of the busiest morning rush, with busy and preoccupied people heading full speed towards their targets, this 1.7m tall, suited Brit of Indian origin is going to teach me about something very un-Norwegian: being sober, picking up anybody on the street and getting a date.

Jeremy’s magic formula isn’t really rocket science, but seems simple and viable, at least in theory.

Jeremy Voiceover: I stop them and say ”Excuse me, I just saw you walking past, and I had to come tell you that I think you look absolutely beautiful.”

Anders: I know that it’s slightly less than ten minutes until I am going to try this, and attempt to explain to Jeremy that there are some hopeless cases beyond saving.

Jeremy Voicever: I mean, some people naturally have the intuition and the ability to pick up someone. Some people don’t naturally have it. That’s my experience.

Anders: To demonstrate, he asks me to pick someone random, and I immediately lay eyes upon a young, pretty, classically blond Norwegian girl, around 1.70 m, across the street. She’s busily running up the stairs carrying a hot coffee, with a laptop bag over her shoulders. My chest hurts, I get red, sweat, and with a terrible taste in my mouth I watch Jeremy do his approach and introduce himself. First comes a slight tap on her shoulder.

Anders: I hardly believe my own eyes. Five minutes pass. Ten minutes pass. The dialogue is good, and Jeremy ends with today’s first phone number after his first attempt, and a coffee date three hours later. The scheme works!

On the street:

Jeremy: So, I went up to her and I delivered my opening line, you know, ”You look absolutely beautiful,” and did you see the confused look on her face? She was very surprised. That’s unusual.

Anders: I think it’s easier for you, because you’re English, you know. It’s much easier.

Jeremy: Yeah, well, you say that, but everyone has different advantages. I can say it’s easier for you because you’re taller, because you work in radio or whatever. It’s easier for him because he’s got money…

In studio:

Anders: Now, the build-up of self-confidence starts. The next time, it’s my turn.

Part 2

In studio:

Anders: Have you ever been on top of a bungee jump tower 80 meters high, stark naked, knowing that you have no cord around your feet while an insane mass murderer is right behind you and 90,000 people below you are laughing at your hopelessness? That was how it felt after Jeremy’s final peptalk before I was to do my very best. Or worst. Oh, I could have died for a Jack Daniels right then. Or an entire bottle. But, ”he who dares” and all that…

On the street:

Anders: Excuse me, can I talk to you for two minutes?

Woman: I’m a bit short on time, actually.

Jeremy: I think you wanted to say something else.

In studio:

Anders: Where is that black hole in the street when I need it? The mess I’m standing in is far too big. Jeremy, save me! Save me!

He does, and the dialogue develops surprisingly well, not least thanks to my foreign friend. But what will this young girl do on such an early morning?

On the street:

Girl: Hand over the key to my boyfriend, and then maybe…

Anders: Okay. Yes. You run along, you’ve got to get to work.

In studio:

Anders: The heart feels a bit lighter right now. But once again, the nerves take over in approach number two. Be confident, appear intelligent, and find something smart to say. A good opening line.

On the street:

Anders: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?

Woman: Yes, let’s see, about a quarter to.

Anders: A quarter to…?

Woman: A quarter to ten.

Anders: (Oh, shit.) Thank you.

Is it even possible…?

In studio:

Anders: I have really given in. Jeremy shakes his head. He’s got iron faith in me. And like a squire at his knight’s side, he supports me down towards Oslo Central Station. The place is full of pretty girls. Far too pretty for me. Anders, get a grip! Pull yourself together! The choice is made.

On the street:

Jeremy: And then say, ”I’d really love to continue the conversation over a drink; what do you think about that?”

In studio:

Anders: With four shopping bags, typing on her cell phone, there stands my chosen one and I go for it.

On the street:

Anders: Excuse me, can I stop you? What’s your name?

Trine: Trine.

Anders: (Yes!) Hi, Trine. So, where are you from?

Trine:Kristiansand.

Anders: You’re not from Oslo?

Trine: No, I study in Oslo.

In studio:

Anders: Despite being busy shopping and on her way to an appointment, she takes time to talk to me, and the conversation goes surprisingly easy.

On the street:

Anders: So, I just thought I had to come over to you and tell you how incredibly cute you are.

Trine: Wow – thanks a lot!

In studio:

Anders: After 12 minutes, I go for the kill.

On the street:

Trine: I’m actually on my way to school, so I really have to go.

Anders: Real quick before you go, you wouldn’t want to do something later, get a coffee or someting like that? I’ve got to show him around town for a while…

Trine: Yes…

Anders: Bring a friend or something.

Trine: I could do that.

Anders: Cool!

In studio:

Anders: The third time was the charm, and a tired and slightly embarassed radio guy goes back to the studio to edit this story. And the date? Well, that’s a totally different story.

Listen to the audio (Norwegian) on the Love Systems YouTube channel.

As the holidays come to an end and the New Year rolls around, we’re all faced with the same thing: we want more from our lives.

If you haven’t got your dating life sorted out yet, you need to take action now. If you don’t, every time you see a beautiful woman walk past you and you don’t say anything to her, the regret will eat away at your soul.

The biggest mistake that men make with women is not having a game plan. You need a game plan for dating as for everything else in life. So let’s look at some pointers for getting better at dating this year.

1. Figure out exactly what your ideal dating life is. I meet clients every week who tell me they want to get good with women, but I ask them, “What does that mean to you?”

For some, it means sleeping with a variety of women in low-commitment relationships. For some, it means finding that one, special girl. For some, it just means being able to approach any woman they want, anywhere and anytime.

Figure it out and write it down. Stick in on your wall. Write it on your iPhone. Find some way to keep it at the forefront of your mind as what you’re working towards on a daily basis.

2. Devise a strategy to achieve those goals. In order to achieve your ultimate goal, you need to figure out a good route there.

If you want more women in your life, then you’ll need to be making lots of approaches. If it’s higher quality women or that special girl you’re after, then you need to be screening more thoroughly for girlfriend criteria. If it’s a certain type of situation you like to meet women in (whether it’s the daytime, a bar or a social event), then figure out a plan to get into these situations as often as possible.

When I decided to get good with women, I realized I would need to be going out a lot to do it. I rented an apartment right in the centre of town, figured out the local day and nightspots that were full of good-looking women, and started going to them regularly.

3. Seek Mentors. You need people who are better with women than you to guide you.

This site is great for that. You also have the live training we do at Love Systems (formerly known as The Mystery Method). When you take a program with us, we become your mentors.

Either way, you need to be inspired by and emulate others who are already good at dating. Seek them out, train with them, befriend them, and absorb their wisdom.

4. Seek Peers. As well as mentors, you need people who are at your level that you can spend time hanging out with and being your wingmen.

People often find it easier to work towards things when they have other people doing the same with them (that’s why gym classes are so popular). It’s the same with dating.

Your peers will help you with the burdens and frustrations you face as you strive to work on your dating life and will be there to share your successes with too.

5. Keep a journal. Keep a record somewhere of the work you’re putting into your dating life, your feelings on how it’s going, and an honest appraisal of whether you’re meeting the targets you set yourself.

It’s your choice whether you keep a private journal or put it somewhere public (like a dating forum). If it’s the latter, you might build a following with your exploits, or even have other people to hold you accountable for making sure you achieve what you set out to.

I used to write a journal a few years back when I first started working on my dating life. Even now, after all this time, sometimes I’ll look at it and suddenly remember how far I’ve come since then. It’s a great way to store memories of events too. After all, it’s the journey and not the destination that makes everything so interesting.

Jeremy Soul

Results are in… I’ve been voted 2009′s Number 8 Best Pick Up Artist and Dating Coach in the world!

A huge thanks to everyone who took the time and voted for me. This acknowledgment keeps the motivation high to continue pushing boundaries, developing new methods and changing lives in 2010!

A shout out goes to Braddock, also voted in the Top 10. Keep up the good work, buddy.

And keep watch for my new book ‘Daytime Dating‘, out soon.

Cheers,
Jeremy Soul.

A while ago Mark W blogged about his travelling experiences and promised a Part 2. Here it is…

Jeremy Soul.

How Travelling Helps You with Girls

Back in August, Soul and I were discussing travelling and how it helps your game. I have been fortunate enough to do quite a bit of travelling while I was at University, but this was before I knew about game. In 2009, my game has exploded – thanks mainly to hanging out with Mr M, Braddock, Daxx and of course Soul. Earlier this year I quit my well paying office job in the UK and bought a one-way ticket to Asia, without too much of a plan. Since then I’ve learned more about game, and people in general, than I could ever have imagined. My goal in this article is to share some of my experiences and encourage you to get out there and see the world for yourself.

What is travelling actually like?

Like I said in my previous article, when I’m talking about travelling, I am referring to extended trips usually with a backpack and very small budget. This isn’t about gaming girls on vacation at Spring Break or anything like that. This year, my stomping grounds have mostly been around South East Asia – Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. These countries are great to travel around, even with a limited budget. Transport is easy and, for the most part, everything is very safe.

You stay in hostels or guesthouses (budget hotels), usually for less than $10 per night. This is not 5 star, in fact it usually isn’t any stars! Some hostels have kitchens where you can cook your own food. Depending on which part of the world you are in, it may be cheaper just to eat at restaurants all the time. In Asia this is certainly the case! A local meal can cost 50cents and a burger with fries is usually $2 or more. Generally speaking beer is very cheap, and often very strong, so pace yourself!

You can spend the daytime doing any number of activities from scuba diving to bungee jumping. There are hundreds of amazing tourist sites that you can check out as well. I have been fortunate enough to visit some truly amazing places, however travelling is so much more than this. I remember going to see the Great Wall of China, which was great. However, I went out that night in Beijing with some really cool people and had a blast. For me, the night out was better than the Wall. It is this social aspect of travelling that really can propel your game to the next level.

Why it helps your game

At home, most of us have jobs and other commitments that keep us busy. Even if your workplace is a very sociable environment, it can’t compare to travelling. Being in social situations almost 24/7 really changes how your behaviours and more importantly, your confidence. I used to like having a few hours at home just to chill, but recently I’ve noticed that I now avoid doing this as much as possible in favour of hanging out with friends. It also means that I’m constantly in that social mood and I no longer have to “turn it on” when I go into a bar.

For some people, this may be quite far outside of your comfort zone. A popular personality categorization tool called Myers Briggs, attempts to categorize people as having introverted preferences or extroverted preferences. What you don’t often get told is that these preferences are mostly learned behaviours. I can assure you that given enough time, even the quietest individuals can become a socialite. Travel will constantly put you in this position, as there are always hundreds of people all around you looking to make friends with practically anyone.

This also means that there are hundreds of girls looking to hook up, which is never a bad thing! During the day, it’s not as charged as a Spring Break or Ibiza atmosphere, but the girls you meet are normally a lot more fun and interesting to hang out with. When you go out at night, particularly in the large cities, you will of course have a fantastic bar/club scene just like at home. Where travelling stands out, is that you get to hang out with all of these girls during the daytime too. This makes hooking up at night much easier and allows you to build massive social proof before you even get to a bar. All this time you are having fun, doing cool activities and seeing amazing sights.

Don’t think that you need to be a Day Game master to pull this off either. While travelling, approaching girls during the day is very common for anyone, not just guys with game. There is a sort of “foreign people band together” type attitude. Imagine being in a city with 25 million people who don’t speak English. It’s very common to go and talk to other travellers, and it is also common for them to approach you. This doesn’t mean you should stop doing direct day game approaches or anything like that, it simply means that each day you will likely meet several cool people without doing anything.

Another great thing about travelling is that logistics are usually very good. People tend to gravitate towards the same hostels or the same general area. This makes it much easier than in London or New York, where everyone likes an hour away from the club. Also, taxis are very cheap – picture around $5 for a 30 minute cab ride. And if all else fails, there is always the beach!

Why you should do it

Aside from having a great time, travelling unquestionably helps you to improve your game. This is true both in reference experiences plus having the chance to see plenty of naturals in action. It also gets guys away from talking pickup with their “wings” all night.

Travel is a great thing to put on your CV or for College/University applications. It demonstrates to employers that you are a worldly person that understands different cultures. If also provides numerous experiences to recall in answering many interview questions – I got a job offer once that was 90% based on my story about being stranded in Tokyo with no money.

It provides a great number of true experiences that you can recall in future when picking up girls. If you like story telling then one trip will provide a goldmine of content. Some of my worst experiences have turned out to be my best stories so don’t fret if things don’t always go to plan.

3 things you can do to dramatically improve success

1. Stay where the crowds stay, and nowhere else. Pick up a Lonely Planet guidebook and look for a hostel/guesthouse in the budget section that specifically mentions a friendly atmosphere, social lounge/tv area, group trips or a happy hour bar scene. These places attract a larger number of people. My friend and I found a great guesthouse for about $14 a night (in total) that had air con, TV and a pool. But there was nobody else staying there. The next place we stayed in was the same price but had considerably less amenities. However they had 20cents beers at happy hour and there were always dozens of people hanging out, even at 4am in the morning. Don’t worry about staying in rubbish accommodation as you will be spending most of the day outside anyway.
2. Talk to everyone, even those you wouldn’t normally speak to. Guys, girls, it doesn’t matter. You have to be as sociable as possible to everyone. You never know who is going to introduce you to their hot female friend or who you will bump into in the next country you visit. This is partially about building social proof, but equally about making connections. The quiet guy that wasn’t talking to anyone could show you a great bar you didn’t know existed. The ugly girl in the swimming pool could introduce you to the girl of your dreams. The married couple could introduce you to an important future business contact. The point is, don’t assign value to someone without talking to them for a reasonable amount of time. You are in a different environment and pigeon holing people based on past experiences won’t work out so well – you will be a much poor judge of value when interacting with foreign cultures.
3. Sexualize and state your intent. The downside to meeting loads of girls during the day is that you often find yourself heading towards the friend zone. The opposite is that you are that weird guy who hits on every girl in the hostel before lunch. Night time is by far the best time to crank up the heat on this, but you have to ensure that you keep this option open during the day. You have to calibrate this, but DO generate attraction during the day. Take small steps forward and keep taking steps forward. You will find yourself having conversations about where you are from/what you do etc which many instructors tell you to avoid when in a bar. It is fine to do this during the day, so long as you are aware that you must build attraction. Think of it as a leaking tap slowly filling up the attraction cup. It’s not a highly noticeable like some flash club game, but both you and the girl are aware on some level that its going on.

What are you waiting for?

It’s easy to find an excuse not to go travelling, but you should really think through your options before writing it off. If you are a student, then summer time is the perfect time to go travelling. Better still, you can take a gap year before or after college. Round the world tickets (which let you stop in any country you want to) are very affordable now too. Long haul airline flights are generally very cheap if you book far enough in advance.

For those of you with jobs, many corporations allow you to take up to a year out of work and come back to your job upon returning. You must usually have severed with a company for 2 or 3 years before this is allowed. Your career is effectively on freeze for a year, meaning you don’t get paid but also can’t get laid-off. You may find yourself in a much better position when you return with newly found confidence having had one of the best experiences of your life.

In closing, get out there and do it! The only person you need permission from is yourself. I promise you, any travel experience will change your life.

Mark W.

How would you like to hear three of the world’s top Dating Coaches share their best kept secrets for meeting, attracting, and dating beautiful women?

Being an instructor for Love Systems, the world’s premier dating advice company for men, is hard! We spend all our time creating and refining the best techniques to allow you to meet and attract the women you want… and we know that only a small number of the most dedicated students ever get to hear it.

So, for one day only, here’s your chance to hear some of the advice that we only share on our exclusive bootcamps and workshops – at a greatly reduced price!

I’ll be in New York to teach Day Game and host a special Mini-Conference on Sunday 31^st January.

It will be 4 hours of pure content: cutting-edge dating and attraction advice from myself and some of the most experienced, advanced guys around - for only $100. Sign up now:

http://lovesystemsnyc.eventbrite.com

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet and learn from some of the world’s best dating coaches at a great price.

Here’s the program:

JEREMY SOUL on Day Game

Soul is the most widely recognized authority on Day Game right now, traveling the world specifically to teach in-field Day Game Workshops for Love Systems. In an exclusive preview of his Day Game Workshop, you’ll learn how to meet beautiful women in the daytime and during your day-to-day life,as well as how the Love Systems Triad fits into Day Game.

Soul is blowing up right now in the media and was recently voted in the top 10 Pick-Up Artists in the world by TSB Magazine: http://www.tsbmag.com/2009/12/30/top-10-puas-of-2009/2/

JEREMY SOUL on Sexual Escalation

In addition to his Day Game presentation, Soul will teach a second session on his other main area of expertise: advanced sexual framing, as well as getting into and managing open relationships.

“Think about the freedom you would feel if you could see a girl that you are genuinely interested in, approach her, have a great conversation, and create serious attraction whenever and wherever you want. The first step to getting to this point is to meet Soul.” – JD, Toronto

BIG BUSINESS on Humor in Pick-Up

Big Business is one of our top instructors based in New York. He kicked ass at last year’s Super Conference with his speech on comedy, and is returning to give you guys some more.

He’s also developing a dedicated Humor seminar, which will teach you everything you could ever want to know about getting funnier and channeling that to meet and attract women. In this talk, you’ll get an exclusive preview of the Humor seminar.

“His game is built on comedy in set and let me tell you- the dude is funny. Funny and QUICK man- I thought I was quick on my feet but he was off the charts. Great insight on improv and very clever SUPER EASY to implement techniques for deflecting shit tests and ensuring you never run out of things to say in set. At this point I’d gotten my moneys worth.” – GD, NYC

CARBEAU on Approach Anxiety

This one is for all you keyboard jockeys out there… finally, learn to get out of the house and get your approach anxiety nailed!

Carbeau, freshly promoted from last year’s Super Conference, is one of the latest additions to the elite Love Systems team. An expert in Day Game and overcoming approach anxiety, Carbeau is going to talk through his methods of dealing with it.

You can see his latest exploits in this detailed and thoroughly inspiring field report:

http://www.theattractionforums.com/field-reports/110634-day-game-snl-hb9-after-approach-up-if-you-dont-try.html

“An awesome guy with nothing but positive things to say.” – BK, Toronto

This all takes place on Sunday January 31^st from 7PM to 11PM at:

NYC Pearl Studios

500 8th Ave #4

New York, NY

USA

Sign up!

Hope to see you there.

Jeremy Soul

Handing over to Braddock for some flirting tips.

Jeremy Soul.

How to Flirt With Women: The Art of Push/Pull

In my years of being a Dating Coach it’s become apparent that the most important and easiest way to flirt with women is to use what is called Push/Pull.

Basic Definition: “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.”

On a more advanced level flirting using push/pull is the art of using both your physical touch/facial expressions and your words in unison. This could mean that you tease her about something or playfully call her out on something, yet while doing so you are smiling, you pull her in and hug her just before she gets mad to show her you are kidding. The guys I know who are the best with women when it comes to flirting, building attraction in the first encounter, building attraction in social circle settings, or maintaining a fun relationship are masters of push/pull.

To truly master push/pull you must learn to calibrate to the woman. Each woman has her own default push/pull blueprint. Some girls blueprint is that they respond best when the ratio is 5 pushes to every 1 pull. With these type of women, they will quickly get bored with a guy who tries to compliment “pull” to often. Even with these women, the pull must appear at some point or she will give up and lose interest assuming you are just a jerk.

Other girls default blueprint is just the opposite. If you want to properly flirt with these women, you will be best off giving light compliments “pulling” maybe 5 times for every one tease “push.”

However, even though each woman has her own default blueprint for when she first meets new guys, this blueprint can quickly change relative to your value. That same woman who would have felt massive attraction to a 5 pushes to 1 pull ratio, will not be receptive to a low value guy attempting such a ratio. However, the woman who responds better to 5 pulls and 1 push and would normally get upset if the average guy teased her to much, will have no problem being teased hard by a guy who she considers extremely high value in her social circle or a celebrity.

Basic Example of Push/Pull:

The Push: (In Orange)

The Pull: (In Green)

I meet a girl, we are flirting, but 10 minutes in I find out she is from Texas. Since I’m originally from Oklahoma. There is a natural reason for immediate push/pull.

Braddock: “Damn, you’re from Texas. (Faking disappointment with face and body language) This sucks, you’re really cute and I was just starting to like you, but now I have to break up with you. I’m going to need my CD’s back and my letter jacket. Now that I know you are from Texas, I don’t feel so bad about cheating on you. But, you were amazing in bed. This makes me sad.” (Pretend to walk away, then come back smiling. She drops her jaw and playfully punches me in the arm. I pull her in, hug her and kiss her on the cheek).

Breakdown of The Above:

The Push? (In Orange)

Any point in the above where I’m saying something mean, pretend to break up with her, pretend to be disapointed, or fake walking away.

Go out and practice pushing as hard as you can without pissing girls off. The sweet spot is when she is almost mad, but you can tell she likes that you have the balls to push her buttons, yet the social savvy to release the tension by intermittently complimenting or physically being warm “pulling.” Go out for a week and mess this up. I give you permission to piss some girls off. This is the only way you will know what the boundary is with this stuff. The more she likes you and the more attracted she is, the harder you can push. This is how you build deep layers of attraction with women. The farther you can successfully take things with the teasing “pushing” the better it will feel for her when you do release the tension by being warm verbally or physically, “pulling.”

The Pull? (In Green)

Any point in the above where I compliment her, smile, or physically escalate. When you are trying to flirt with women, don’t kill the sexual tension by over pulling.

Most guys will say, “Just kidding” when the girl wasn’t even mad. Save comments like “just kidding” for when you truly piss her off and even then, use it sparingly. Also, don’t kill sexual tension by playfully pushing, but laughing at your own joke to early in an attempt to break the tension, hoping she will ‘be ok with it.’ Have some balls and be ok with creating some tension. This tension is what makes the compliments “the pull” actually feel really good. No tension + pulling = no attraction and no secondary gain of the pull feeling good. Pulling with no attraction, is simply validating her, not causing a connection.

Go out and practice complimenting. Range them and see what happens. Notice the difference when you give light compliments after several teases. Notice that it doesn’t kill the tension, but actually allows you to push it farther. Then try over complimenting to early and being way to nice and notice how it kills the sexual tension and makes it even harder to push the next time.

-Braddock