Las Vegas Weekly has just posted this article about the Love System Super Conference 2009. Rick Lax spent three days with us at the Super Conference and has some interesting insights…

Jeremy Soul.

A pickup artists’ “super-conference” reveals that most guys aren’t out to get laid—they’re just trying to fit in.

Do you think it’s okay to break up with somebody over Facebook?

Before you form a response to that question, you should know that I don’t care about your answer. In fact, the question isn’t even a real “question”; it’s an opener, an innocuous line that Pickup Artists use to begin conversations with beautiful women(1). I learned Facebook Breakup from the LoveSystems Super-Conference held at the Hard Rock last month. Cost of attendance: $3,850(2).

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, Any guy who would fly across the country and pay such a large sum of money to learn how to ask women scripted questions is a desperate loser at best, and a sex offender at worst. You’re thinking, These guys shouldn’t have to work so hard to meet women; it should come naturally; if these guys would just “be themselves” everything would fall into place.

And here’s the reason you’re thinking that: You haven’t been rejected as much as they’ve been rejected. You think you have, but you haven’t. So I kindly ask that you wait until you’ve finished reading this article before you make fun of us—er, them. Make fun of them.

I’m sitting in a gray banquet hall at the Hard Rock hotel-casino with 100 other guys. There’s a projection screen set up at the front of the room, and it’s playing a pre-taped episode of The Tyra Banks Show. Tyra’s guest is LoveSystems CEO Savoy(3), the man who organized the Super-Conference at the Hard Rock. When Tyra says that some men pay Savoy “thousands of dollars … thousands of dollars” to learn how pick up women, her audience gasps.

I find an open seat next to Michael from Australia. He’s 36 and describes himself as a “PUA dinosaur.” And he’s right; most the guys in the room appear to be in their mid-20s. They’re mostly well-dressed, and largely good-looking. So based on appearances alone, you wouldn’t guess that these guys had trouble attracting women. But, as any pickup artist worth his weight in feather boas would tell you, it’s not about how you look; it’s about how you make women feel(4).

Oh, there are a lot of bald guys in the room, too—a lot of bald guys. And there’s a guy behind me with a handlebar mustache and a red and black bandana. And there’s a guy to my left with at least one filled-in ear (it’s got no hole). And then there’s a long-haired guy in front of me who’s got to be at least 6-foot-5—that’s Savoy.

My tablemate Michael looks around the room and offers me this assessment: “Some of these guys are incredibly insecure—can’t even talk to girls—and some of them are James Bond. And some of them are in the middle.”

“Where are you?” I ask.

“I’m in the middle. You?” Michael asks me.

“Hard to say,” I reply. “Ever since I moved to Vegas, people tell me I’m Bond-y, but most of the time I feel like I’m still in middle school—insecure.”

“I hear ya,” Michael says. “I went through a long insecure phase. I was always the nice guy, the guy who helped his friends meet women. Basically, I was too scared to tell my girl—I mean, my friend who I wanted to be my girl—how I felt. And when I finally did tell her that I loved her, she told me that she didn’t love me back.”

“So she LJBF’d(5) you?” I ask.

“She did, and I swore on a thousand Bibles that it would never happen again.”

Savoy takes the stage, welcomes everybody to the Super-Conference and emphasizes the importance of active participation: “There are beautiful women in this very casino. So use this stuff right away. One thing we’re experts on, aside from picking up women, is how to learn. So listen to me when I say you should take lots of notes.”

At that instant everybody in the room cracks open their LoveSystems folder (leather, complimentary) for the first time and begins writing. Shortly thereafter, Savoy introduces to the stage the “No. 1-rated instructor from last year: Soul.”

Soul, a soft-spoken, self-assured Sri Lankan guy, puts to words what’s on everybody’s mind:

“It’s a scary thing, spending your weekend learning to meet women. It’s humbling. We don’t want to admit that we need help, but we’re here because we’ve reached a point where our regret has built up and we said, ‘No more!’ So I know you’re feeling nervous, and I know you’re feeling weird, but I want you to know that this is a good place to be. When you stop getting nervous about your life, that’s when your life gets boring. Okay, a show of hands; this is the first pickup event for how many people in the room?

Half of the guys in the room put their hands up.

“And how many of you told your friends you were coming to the Super-Conference?”(6)

Ten hands.

“Who feels uncomfortable about being here?”

Almost every hand goes up.

“Yeah, the first experience is weird,” Soul admits. “Four or five years ago, I got together with a group of Pickup Artists in London. On my way over, I remember thinking, I’m about to meet up with some guys I don’t know to approach women and recite scripts I found on the Internet. What am I doing?!”

The thing to take from Soul’s comments is that you don’t need to make fun of Pickup Artists because they’re uncomfortable enough as is. Admitting that you need help with women is embarrassing and emasculating. In most cases, the decision to attend a LoveSystems boot camp is not motivated by libido; it’s motivated by loneliness.

I’m standing in the “Breakout Room.” It’s another gray conference hall, but there are no tables in this one. There’s a raised platform at the front of the room, and there are four chairs on it, and there are four instructors sitting on the four chairs. There’s a tall blond guy, there’s a guy wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, there’s an Asian guy, and there’s a guy with a backward baseball cap. They’re leading a session on “Approaching & Transitioning.”

“There are different types of openers,” Blond Guy explains. “Some lines open easily; some lines are more rewarding. ‘What time is it?’ will open 95 percent of sets(7), but where are you going to go with that? I mean, where’s your transition? On the other end of the spectrum, ‘Want to go to my room to fuck?’ is not likely to open many sets, but if it does open, well … you’re probably in luck.”

The instructors split us up into four groups so we can practice delivering “mid-spectrum openers.” We’re told to keep our tone strong and deep, and to keep our body position nonthreatening (facing slightly away). We’re told to “be real,” to “sell the line.”

My group instructor, the guy with the backward baseball cap, asks the two guys to my right to pretend to be attractive women. Then he tells me to try to pick them up.

I walk past them and then turn back at the last minute, as if I’ve got an afterthought.

“Can I get your opinion on something?” I say. “Is it okay to break up with somebody over Facebook?”

“Dude,” Backward Hat says, “you’re being way too serious. You’ve got to say the line with a little smirk that lets your target know you’re going somewhere with this.”

I know this is going to sound silly, but Backward Hat’s note hurt my feelings. Maybe I’m being hypersensitive, but it’s not every day that somebody tells you you’re bad at talking.

Next, Backward Hat has the student to my left try out the same line.

“Let me ask you two a question,” the guy to my left says, but he says it too quietly; the students pretending to be women act as if they didn’t hear him. So he beings to repeat himself:

“Can I ask—”

“Let’s stop right there,” Backward Hat interrupts. “When you repeat yourself you lose value. And you’ve got to be the one with the higher value; you’re the prize; don’t put the pussy on the pedestal.”

Yes, Backward Hat actually said that, and yes, it was misogynistic. But ladies: I don’t want you to go away from this article thinking the average Pickup Artist is more sexist than the average guy. I want you to know that if anything, the opposite is true. I want you to know that I hear misogynistic comments like that all the time, especially in the locker room and at the poker table.(8)

LoveSystems iPhones await the new pickup app that includes conversation openers and the ability to receive fake phone calls from beautiful fake women.

After the session is through, I wander into the hallway, and I come across a table with a dozen iPhones on it. LoveSystems, I learn, is beta-testing an iPhone pickup application, LoveSystems Mobile. The guys at the Hard Rock are waiting for the maiden upload.

Mahipal Raythattha, the application programmer, hands me his phone, and I open the LoveSystems Mobile application and click on “Openers.” A list of pre-written conversations pops up. “Rich Girl,” “Female Roommates,” “Text Message Breakup” (a variation of Facebook Breakup, I presume), “Horse Girl,” “Sorry I’m Late,” “Dead Best Friend”—they’re all there. I click on “Horse Girl.”

“The blue text,” the programmer tells me, “is the dialogue—what you’re actually supposed to say. The pink is the response you can expect [e.g., ‘Break up over Facebook? How long have you been dating her?’], and the white text is tips from the LoveSystems instructor.

“Once you’ve tried a couple out,” the programmer continues, “there’s a function that allows you to rate the routines based on how much success you’ve had with them. And we track the community ratings, so if everybody is rating a routine at five stars, then new users can begin with those.”

The programmer’s iPhone starts to ring. The iPhone has a photo caller ID, so I can see that the caller is young and blond. Her picture resembles the cover of Britney Spears’ … Baby One More Time.

Mahipal Raythattha loads LoveSystems’ pickup app into attendees’ iPhones.

But the call, it turns out, is fake; the Britney look-alike is part of the LoveSystems Mobile software. LoveSystems users can program their iPhones to receive fake calls from imaginary pretty girls. The hope is that the real girl you’re trying to pick up will see the fake caller, get jealous and want you more.

Before Raythattha can load the application onto my iPhone—I bet you dollars to doughnuts that fake caller ID thing works—Savoy exits the Main Stage room and tells me he’s ready for our interview.

Here’s how journalism works: I want Savoy to say something weird or strange; Savoy wants to promote his business. And here’s what happens in our interview: Savoy wins. Let me explain: As we sit down on the couch for the interview, an obese attendee wearing an Affliction T-shirt walks by.

“That guy had an amazing night last night,” Savoy tells me.

I tell Savoy that I want to hear about it, so he calls the guy over. Here’s what the guy has to say:

“Last night I went to Tryst. It was my fifth-ever time in a nightclub—keep that in mind. It’s 2 a.m., and I’ve been talking to these two girls for an hour, and then my coach, Tenmagnet, tells me I should ask them if they want to go to breakfast, and they say they’d rather go to a sex shop. I’m freaking out, because nothing like this has ever happened to me before, so I just nod. We go, we buy two […] then we come back over to Wynn, and we go up to their room, and first the girls […] and then we all […].”

The guy takes out his digital and shows me a picture.

“These girls are really cute, for a guy like me,” he says.

“That’s one of the most rewarding things about this job,” Savoy says. “I get letters and phone calls all the time. Wedding pictures, too.”

“How many students have sent you wedding pictures?”

“About a dozen. We have a wall at the office where we put up stuff like that.”

The big guy’s pictures look legit, but they alone are not enough to validate his whole story. And that raises the question, is he lying or exaggerating?(9) And what about the rest of the guys in the hallway? A lot of them have told me stories about all the wonderful things that ostensibly happened the previous night. Are they lying or exaggerating?

I have to find out, so that night I follow the guys to see for myself …(10)

When clubgoers head to XS on Saturday night and see that the line stretches all the way back to the Danny Gans Theatre, they walk over to Tryst. That, I presume, is why the line at Tryst is so incredibly long Saturday night. Luckily, I’ve brought my girl S. and my female roommate with me, so we don’t have to wait very long to get in.

We descend the stairs, order cocktails and position ourselves near the Pickup Artists’ table. After 15 minutes, one of the guys approaches my roommate:

“My sister made me up to look Asian tonight,” he tells her. “Do you think it worked?”

“Sure …” my roommate replies, tentatively.

The guy is Asian, by the way.

“So what is it?” he continues. “The shirt, the pants, the face?”

“It’s …”

“She’s a racist!” the guy calls back to his friend. “She’s a racist!”

Now, I’ve got a creative mind and a rudimentary understanding of psychology, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what that guy is going for. But I don’t view his pickup attempt as a failure. Turns out the guy has never before approached a girl in a nightclub. So the point isn’t that he struck out; the point is that for the first time he swung.

As the hours go by, more and more students approach my roommate, my girl S. and every other woman in sight. Whatever the pickup coaches were telling the students seems to be working; they seem to be finding more and more success. One of the guys, a French-Canadian, brings a girl over to the Pickup Artist table, and when she gets there, she sits down on his lap. A couple of minutes later, they’re making out. Another student chats up my roommate and takes her to the dance floor. I see him snapping a couple of photos that he can take back to Nebraska or Ohio or wherever he’s from, show to his friends, and brag about how hot all the girls in Las Vegas are.

I’d say the students got their money’s worth.

At 2:30 a.m. we leave the club. S. and I walk back to the parking garage. When I start the car, the fuel tank warning light comes on. I’m nearly out of gas. Luckily, I have a spare fuel canister.

I pop the trunk, take out the canister … and realize that I have no clue how to operate it. Seems like it’d be a straightforward procedure, but the nozzle is too short, and the gas isn’t flowing out of it properly … and I spill some on my pants.

That’s when two men walk by. They’re coming from the casino, heading back to their car.

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” one of the guys says.

“Trying to get gas into the car. Do you know how?” I ask.

“Yeah, it’s called a gas station.”

They both laugh. Assholes. Even though they’re 50, they remind me of every guy who ever made fun of me in middle school—the ones who dated the girls who didn’t know my name.

“Seriously,” I say, “if you guys know how to work this thing, could you please help me out?”

“Figure it out yourself, fag.”

Now, I’d like to think these guys are jealous. After all, it’s 2:30 a.m. on a Saturday night, and I’m going home with a beautiful woman … and they’re not. The men are probably feeling bitter about it, and probably looking to make themselves feel better by bringing me down. But even that realization, along with the absurdity of the guy’s particular insult (I’m the one with the girl), doesn’t change the fact that when the slur leaves the guy’s mouth and arrives in my ears, I feel like I’m back in middle school.

So why does the comment so deeply affect me? Why can’t I just shrug it off? Why can’t I just say, “I’ve got a girl, you guys don’t, so piss off,” and leave things at that? Same reason the Pickup student wanted some photos of himself with my roommate. Same reason Pickup Artists remain active in the Pickup community even after they’ve mastered the skill: It’s not about getting laid; it’s about social acceptance.(11)

So, ladies, the next time a guy asks you whether it’s okay to break up with somebody over Facebook, consider answering the question. Consider playing along. He’s not a loser; he’s just a little insecure. He might be after social acceptance, but who isn’t? Give the guy a chance. I’m sure Savoy will clear off some space on the LoveSystems bulletin board for your wedding pictures.

(1) Specifically, it’s an opinion opener. Common opinion openers include, “Who lies more, men or women?” “Do you think spells work?” “Do you think David Bowie is hot?” “Did you see the two girls fighting outside?” “If you’re dating a guy but kiss somebody else, is that cheating?” and “Do you floss before or after you brush?”

(2) $3,850 buys students a “Gold Level” pass, which includes “Infield Training” sessions in “Vegas VIP Clubs.” For $950, though, students can purchase a “Silver Level” pass, which gets them into the daytime lecture rooms only.

(3) Every Pickup Artist has a “handle,” a seduction nickname that reveals something about his character. Savoy’s real name is Nick Benedict.

(4) The general PUA wisdom goes like this: Good looks a foot in the door, nothing more.

(5) LJBF stands for Let’s Just Be Friends, and can be used as a verb. Now, the fact that I 1) know this acronym and 2) am able to use it correctly in casual conversation probably has you wondering whether I identify as a Pickup Artist. I do not.* Before writing this story, I’d never attended a Pickup Artist convention, and had never been active in a Pickup Artist lair. But, that said, I am friends with several guys who identify as Pickup Artists, I’ve read several books by Pickup Artists (including, though not limited to, The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss; Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed, by Mystery; and The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible, by Tony Clink), and I’ve put what I’ve learned to good use.

(6) All the instructors were very good about calling the conference a “Super-Conference.”

(7) A set is a group of people that contains at least one target. And yes, a target is a girl a Pickup Artist is trying to pick up. If you don’t like the terms—and a lot of Pickup Artists don’t—take it up with Mystery. They’re his, and they caught on.

*I’m pretty sure I give off Pickup Artist vibes, though, because when LoveSystems sent its press release to everybody at the Las Vegas Weekly office, a couple of editors forwarded the e-mails to me two seconds later.

(8) First example to come to mind: Two days ago I was playing poker at the Mirage, and the guy to my left, upon seeing an attractive woman at a neighboring table, said this to me: “Just how I like ’em: blond and drunk.”

(9) For what it’s worth, I believe he wasn’t. I’ve never been to an AA meeting, but I imagine that when an AA member stands up and says she’s been sober for a week, nobody questions it, because by virtue of her attendance, she’s already admitted to hitting rock bottom—and what’s the point of lying after that? Same thing at a Pickup Artist convention, I believe.

(10) I wasn’t invited, but I wasn’t told not to come. In case it’s still unclear, I didn’t pay to attend the LoveSystems Super-Conference; I’d received a complementary media pass.

(11) Rolling Stone writer Neil Strauss drives this point home in his book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (also known as “by far the most entertaining book I’ve ever read in my life”).

“Some guys play the game because they have an isolated work life,” Strauss told me over the phone. “Some guys are there because they had issues with their parents growing up, and for some guys it might be social ostracism. So what they think they want might not be what they actually want; they might think they’re after sex, but ultimately they learn that what they’re really after is social acceptance.”

Rick Lax

29th October 2009.

Love Systems has just released the interview series on iTunes. Each interview is jam-packed with powerful strategies and tactics for meeting and seducing attractive women that any man can use, regardless of your looks or financial status.

You’ll discover insights you’ve never heard before and strategies you won’t find anywhere else. (Especially on the Internet.) You’ll also learn new techniques on approaching women with total confidence, how to start conversations easily, how to use your body language to your advantage, and how to make women feel attraction for you. What’s more, you’ll be able to listen to them over and over again whenever you want.

So, have a listen to the Love Systems interview series and let us know what you think.

Jeremy Soul

This one’s especially for the Swedes… Lovesystems Sweden. Check out all the latest news, blog postings and technique updates for Day Game, Inner Game, Direct Game and more.

Seminar dates, including Day Game Stockholm are also listed. Check it out and let us know what you think on the blog.
Cheers,

Jeremy Soul

Another article, this one covering Project Rockstar in Stockholm. Day Game get s a good rap…

Jeremy Soul

Wooed into learning the art of seduction, The Local’s Christine Demsteader follows a group of men in pursuit of a pick-up artist’s secrets in Stockholm.

”Excuse me. I just saw you across the road and had to come over and tell you how beautiful you are.” (Pause for response) ”What’s your name?”

Could this seemingly shifty chat-up line melt the hearts of Swedish ice maidens on a chilly afternoon in the capital?

I had my doubts. Jeremy Soul was eager to contest them, confident that his school of thought allows him to meet women any time and any place.

”I can help guys to get laid, to get girlfriends,” he says. “But what I’m teaching is control over their love life.”

For which he usually charges a day rate of $1,500 to $3,000. Soul is a respected PUA (pick up artist) in the seduction community – a male kinship which began in 80s America – exposed and explored by US journalist Neil Strauss in his 2005 book The Game.

On the outside he is a dating coach, who moved from England to Stockholm this year, and I catch up with him lending his expertise to a group of protégés. I, along with these men handpicked from across the world, am getting his services for free.

The students, chosen from 300 applicants, are taking part in Project Rock Star, an initiative set up by US company Love Systems to guide men on the road to success in the areas of health, wealth and relationships and lead the ultimate lifestyle.

Since paying clients prefer to shy away in anonymity, it’s also an opportunity to publicise their services.

“We train them for eight weeks in absolutely everything we know,” Soul adds. “Part of it is about picking up women but part of it is also about networking, physical wellbeing and entrepreneurship.”

Aaron Panasbodi, 24, from Australia was considering joining a Thai monastery before radically changing direction. “It was the right time and place for me,” he says. “I have immediate access to a bunch of mentors for different areas of my life.”

A strict upbringing in a southern Baptist household “where Sarah Palin was preached,” led Jacob Veto, 24, to look for pastures new. “There was always something inside of me where I felt I could achieve greater things,” he says. “It’s been a long-time for me coming out of that; finding out who I was and making peace with that.”

Unsatisfied with his lot in life, Swedish participant Michel Genetay, 27, wanted more women and adventure. “I quit everything I had,” he says. “I moved away from the comfort and safety to challenge myself – that’s why I’m doing it.”

The day begins with a three-hour seminar, concentrating on techniques in approaching women wherever you are.

After all, Soul is said to be one of the best day-gamers in the business. A self-confessed love-shy geek during his teens, he sought out a system to woo women and won. Today, he is superbly confident for his 26 years and travels the world with his job. It first brought him to Stockholm two years ago.

“I realised it’s my favourite city in the world,” he says. “Part of it has to do with the women; they are more beautiful than anywhere else I’ve been.”

Defying the stereotype, brunettes are his weakness but to fall under the influence of Soul’s charm he prefers them sober. “I tell my friends that when Swedish girls drink they turn into English men – they can be quite predatory and it’s almost like a role reversal.”

That’s why Soul sticks to the day game. “I love women. I love emotional connection. I love good sex,” he says.

“But I don’t really enjoy going to nightclubs. I prefer good conversation, figuring out what we connect on and you can do that in the daytime a lot more effectively.”

Soul briefs his students on how to ‘open’ a woman – the initial approach. You spot her across the street, you chase from behind, a light touch to the arm before an ice-breaking complement begins proceedings.

“Excuse me. I saw you doing X and I had to tell you why,” demonstrating the move in its entirety. “You might think they’re too good-looking, bored, busy, mean, with friends or even their mother – but anything is possible.”

Soul throws away the tried and tested canned one-liners and opts for more spontaneity – “Comment on their hair, the way they dress, the way they walk, their style – anything about them you like that they have control of,” he says.

He continues with talk of ‘rewarding’, ‘screening’, ‘qualification’ ‘progression’ and hand- out documents with explanatory diagrams.

“Everything we do is based on psychology and social dynamics,” Soul says. “A billionaire might be a great public speaker when it comes to talking business – he understands social rules and etiquette in front of his peers. But he can’t apply that on a street in front of five women.”

In the afternoon, the rock stars are taken from the safety of the seduction classroom to put theory into practice.

Soul sets the tone, stopping one attractive young woman in her tracks and telling her he likes her smooth skin. It works. She is visibly charmed as she coyly plays with her hair, flicks her head to one side and sends out all the right signals.

Not his greatest success, but by no means a failure, he returns to the ranks with her name and a likely follow-up on Facebook.

The rock stars follow suit and Soul analyses their moves from a distance, complementing their body language or criticising their posture where necessary.

It’s their first chance to wander around the city and Aaron is impressed. “Beautiful architecture, clean air and beautiful women – I can see why Soul moved here,” he says.

Vishal Chagan, 22, from England agrees: “I thought it would be overrated but I like Stockholm. There’s some stunning women here; it seems as if you’re judged on your appearance but so far so good.”

Out and about in Stureplan, the guys spy their targets and so begins the seduction banter. They ‘veto’ each other – code speak for daring a guy to approach a certain girl. They ‘wing’ where necessary – joining forces when a wanted women is accompanied by friends.

The rock stars are obviously enjoying their free ride but for most clients the lure of learning the chase comes at a price – according to Soul it’s a small cost for the experience gained.

“Everything we do comes with a money-back guarantee and our refund rate is less than one percent,” he says.

“There’s nothing better for me than when a 50-year-old guy who’s divorced and miserable tells me I changed the course of his life.”

Soul personifies what he preaches; honest, articulate, open and ready to tackle cynics with charm.

“In terms of whether we are tricking women, it comes down to how you represent yourself,” he says. “Someone feels manipulated when they feel like they’ve been mis-sold something. If you’re upfront and say who you are and what you’re offering, it gives a women the choice to say yes or no.”

I overhear words of encouragement from Soul to his students; his experience tells him foreigners have a head start with Swedish women. ”They like speaking English and so the accent helps,” he says them.

“And Swedish guys don’t have the balls to do this,” a distinct advantage of seducing women on the streets here that I’d been thinking about all day.

Christine Demsteader (news@thelocal.se)

As seen in one of Norway’s most read newspapers – Solrun came along to Project Rockstar in Oslo. Here’s her impression of LoveSystem’s methods, Direct Game and Day Game…

Cheers,

Jeremy Soul

Seduction School

Norwegian men are on course to make themselves attractive.

Saturday, central Oslo: Two girls dressed for summer stroll toward Grensen. A dark haired guy at 165 cm stands at a few meters distance and scouts behind dark sun glasses. He catches a glimpse of the blondes and doesn’t hesitate. With steady steps he follows them. When he reaches the side of the blondest one of the girls, he touches her arm gently and says: “I saw you from across the street, and you were so gorgeous that I just had to come over and talk to you. Hi, I’m Jim!” He reaches out his hand. She takes it and giggles, somewhat shy. After five minutes of dialogue, laughter and heavy eyeballing, her number is saved on Jim’s phone. What really happened?

“I don’t really understand it myself,” Sigrid Meland (18) says. “He seemed so confident and nice at the same time. I simply got a bit charmed. It’s not every day you experience something like that in Oslo. Norwegian boys are so shy.” she adds. Meland has just been exposed to one of the world’s best professional pickup-artists. 27 year old Australian Jim, or Mr. M as he’s better known within the pickup community, has demonstrated what he calls “day gaming” and “number-close” to A-Magasinet. This means picking up girls during the daytime with the goal of getting a phone number and a date later on. The former lawyer is so good at this and other pickup techniques that the American company Love Systems pays him over a million a year to travel around the world and teach his seduction techniques to other men. He was recently in Norway for the third time. There are more and more men in this country who want to learn pickup through science and tested methods.

Pickup Club

In Oslo there are now among 300-400 men who are passionate about pickup, almost as many as are in the VIF-clan of Vålerenga. (VIF are the supporters of Vålerenga, one of Norway’s most famous football teams). These are men who several times a month meet to discuss pickup and spend hours in front of the computer to find out which methods attract women, master student in social anthropology at the University of Oslo, Sandra Janzsó, explains. She’s writing her master’s thesis about the structured pickup community in Oslo, and has followed the most active pickup artist out to clubs, on internet forums and during pickup courses. “Many of them enter the community after reading the book The Game by Neil Strauss. Others have been recruited through the internet or by buddies they suddenly notice have gained a lot more success with women,” says Janzsó. She points out that in addition to the most visible of the pickup artists, there are a number of men who read books on their own, and who participate in the increasing number of pickup courses that are offered to Norwegian men. Who turns to methods and science to pick up women? Which methods are they using? And do women really get tricked?

Lack of experience

Ten men are sitting prepared in a conference room in Oslo. It’s Friday morning. Several of them have laptops. The coffee mugs are constantly refilled. The potential pickup artists don’t want to miss any of the information that Mr. M and his three assistant coaches will impart. They are, after all, paying 18.000 Norwegian kroner for the 20 hours of theory and almost as many hours of practice they will be getting over the next three days. The knowledge will also be welcome when, in a few days, it’s the students’ turn to get “number closes” in the middle of the day.

When the participants present themselves and their experience with ladies, it’s pretty typical. “I fall into the friend trap every time. Not that strange perhaps, considering that even touching someone or giving a compliment is really difficult for me,” says a 42 year old engineer from the west of Norway.

“I’ve never had a girlfriend and don’t know how to interact with women without drinking,” says Morten (23) quietly while staring at the table. He’s flown down from northern Norway to do something about the situation. And so it goes around the table.

“Common for a lot of those who are engaged in structured pickup is a feeling of frustration over their own social situation, and that they want to change this. The motive to learn pickup techniques vary from wanting to find the lady in their life to sleeping with as many women as possible,” says Janzsó. In the seminar room in Oslo, most of the guys express a wish for assistance in getting a girlfriend.

“Just as studying economics gives me the tools to grab onto a great business opportunity when it may appear, I hope that this course will give me the knowledge to seduce the woman in my life when she walks by. I don’t want luck and chance to decide who I end up with,” says student Adi (26).

Old fashioned view

What’s the knowledge that Adi and the others are going to learn? Well, it’s understanding what a woman looks for in a man and how to act on it. In the pickup manual “Magic Bullets” the writer and pickup artist code-named Savoy lists the following qualities that a woman unconsciously look for in a partner: good genes that may give her a healthy child, good social skills and humor which is important in order to be accepted in a group, status and wealth which means that he will be able to provide for her and the child, and finally confidence which means he can handle most challenges. Janzsó proposes that these evolutionary and psychological explanations of what women want is a way of legitimating that men in relation to women really are hunters. This justifies that men have a “right” to the women they want.

Isn’t this a very outdated view of women? “This definitely stands in harsh contrast to established notions of gender equality and modern forms of social organization. I notice at the same time that many of the guys in the Norwegian pickup community react to and take away from this outdated view of women,” says Janzsó.

The first line

The 10 men around the table are now enthusiastically occupied with a role play where they actually practice being hunters. By going through six steps in a so-called emotional progression model, they aim to show the masculine traits that women look for. They start by practicing “opening,” the first step in the model. “You may say something funny like: ‘Hey, dancing’s not allowed, you have to come with me!’ or be direct and say: ‘I saw you from across the room and just wanted to say that you’re absolutely gorgeous,’” says Mr. M. “But you can’t say that in Norway. It may be interpreted as sexual assault,” Ole (42) protests. Mr. M on the other hand means this shows confidence, and corrects Ole’s tone of voice and posture.

One of the other instructors, a read haired Brit codenamed Keychain, takes over. He’s an expert in touching techniques, and demonstrates how by touching the woman, first a little on the arm, then the inside of her hand, then the shoulder, you reach your goal faster. “It’s important to ‘escalate.’ If you haven’t touched the woman at all, it’s harder to get a kiss-close,” Keychain explains. Passive Scandinavians “All in all we teach the students to become a bit more macho. Even though women say they want the good guy, they fall for the masculine one,” says Mr. M. He is supported by research. Psychologist Heather Rapp at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University recently proved that ovulating women show an increased interest in masculine men. This is connected to high levels of testosterone, in other words masculinity, which expresses good gene quality. Quite a few Norwegian men seem to have lost this masculinity, Mr. M means, who sees this as a problem. “Here in the North the soft metrosexual man is worshiped, while masculine ideals seem to have vanished. When men forget how to be men, women forget how to be women. Men and women become so much alike that the tension between them disappears,” says the pickup guru.

He believes gender equality is the reason why men in the North are amongst the most passive he’s seen during his numerous forays into clubs and bars in over 40 countries. While 20 percent of the men approach the women, the remaining 80 percent will just stand there. Only when drunk will they have the guts to pick up, rarely with a good result. “I believe many Norwegian men would benefit from becoming more active without as much alcohol,” says Mr. M. Gender sociologist Preben Z. Møller agrees with Mr. M that the present generation of young men, grown up in the climate of sixty-eighters, has been instilled with a kind of soft-man ideal that woman may not react all too positively to.

Does this mean that traditional masculine ideals should be given more room? “No. Even though it’s correct that dominant behavior is rewarded by women, neither men nor women gain in the long run from the traditional male ideal,” says Møller. – But hasn’t gender equality gone too far when a man is afraid to give a women a compliment? “I don’t think so. On the contrary, women should compliment men more on their looks. Women are just as responsible for picking up men as the other way around,” says Møller.

Out picking up

It’s midnight, Friday. 11 somewhat nervous men are spread around the club Onkel Donald in Oslo. They’re here to test their new knowledge, their manhood and their fears. “Tell the brunette over there that you think she’s pretty,” Mr. M whispers to Morten and gives him a little shove. The 23 year-old has never walked up to a woman without at least five beers in his system. Now he’s sober, and terribly nervous. With hesitant steps he walks over to the lady in question. He taps her gently on the shoulder. She turns around and he says the memorized line. “Huh? What did you say? I didn’t hear you!” she yells. Morten repeats. The girl smiles and looks at him funny before she turns back to the bar. Morten loafs back. Mr. M explains to him that Norwegian girls have a very high “bitch shield” which means that they give few signals of interest, making it necessary to “plow” or keep talking. He is sent back out there.

This time Mr. M decides to ”wing” and talk to the girl’s friend so she doesn’t bother Morten’s lady. It quickly ends up with both of them talking to Mr. M while Morten dejectedly watches their backs. On the third shot magic happens. Morten is able to transition the opener into a conversation. The confidence rises. Opening doesn’t seem quite as scary anymore.

At two o’clock the next day, the guys meet for another day of theory. How did the previous night go? Well, most of them opened more than ten girls. Some got phone numbers, and some even manage to get a “kiss-close.” Do the methods work? “Yes, it’s obvious that a man who confidently walks up to 20 women a day will have more success than shy guys that stand there watching,” says Møller. Janzsó agrees, and adds that as time goes on and the guys receive more positive feedback from women, they will become more comfortable with themselves and through that also more successful with women. “And it’s when you’ve reached this level that the methods works the best,” Mr. M emphasizes. “In the beginning they are memorized lines and routines, but then they become a part of you. You have to become different, not just act like it. The goal is to view oneself as naturally attractive, as that’s how you become attractive in the eyes of others as well. In the long run the “inner game” is far more important the outer game.”

In broad daylight

Three days of intensive theory and practice out on the town are over. Now, the pickup candidates are ready to get in contact with women during broad daylight. They’ve been given a short introduction to “daygaming” by expert Soul. Basically, the same six steps are applicable during the day as at nighttime, except that they will have to be done in “fast forward.” Since people during the day usually are in a hurry, the goal is to land a five minute conversation and then get the girl’s phone number. Soul has taken three of the students down to Karl Johan (the main street of Oslo). Their guts feel like they’re about to go on a roller coaster ride. Pickup at a night club is a walk in the park compared to what they are about to experience. Per (20) is told to catch up with a blonde wearing a backpack rapidly moving towards a building. He runs after her and touches her arm. She jumps and looks a bit astonished when he presents his errand. But, she stays. They have a few minutes of conversation before Per returns to report in. She appreciated the compliment, but he didn’t get a “number close,” he admits. He is told to make an effort to appear more confident, and is sent away to catch the next blonde.

By Solrun Dregelid

Thank you so much to all of you for coming to Rockstar Stockholm this week. It was truly one of the most crazy, fun, emotional and inspirational experiences of my year.

Highlights include:
- Everyone’s jaw dropping at the sheer beauty of Swedish women
- Swedish reporters freaking out the Rockstars by snapping pictures of them as they talked to women on the street
- Bugsy and Beeballer inviting a Swedish glamour model to their room and being given a personal viewing of a truly epic set of breasts
- Vishal, Aaron and Micha turning down a spitroast (and two of them regretting it in the morning)
- Alex videoing me talking every time I started talking
- Aaron getting his iPhone recorder out every time I started talking
- Micha the “charming Norwegian viking” melting the hearts of women with his smile
- Vishal’s fake D&G shoes
- Josh and me getting bro mantic talking about love, sex and life for 4 hours

To the coaches…
Wizard – Awesome inner game talk man. A lot of what you said resonated heavily with me.
Beast – Your PR stuff has been invaluable to me.
Doc – Thanks for the champers!
Sargent – Hope you enjoyed the Swedish sights
Bugsy – That day game day was pretty fun…
Beeballer – They all looooove it!
Atlas – Loving the cap man. Get a hoodie too!

Next stop, VEEEEEGAS!!

Jeremy Soul